“New York, I Love You XOXO” – Gossip Girl

         Image copyright The CW (2012)

I don’t know what to say about the Gossip Girl finale other than that it was the perfect ending to the season and the series. It was a return to the GG of old – a minimum of scheming, and a maximum of good storytelling – and also wrapped up everything that had kept us guessing for years.

The episode picks up right where “The Revengers” left off, with Chuck and Blair fleeing the scene of Bart’s (hilarious) fall. They escape to a romantic hotel where they hide out from the cops. They’re being sought for questioning in relation to Bart’s death. Jack Bass shows up (had a tracker in Chuck’s limo) and offers them a solution – spousal privilege! If Chuck and Blair get married, Blair can’t be forced to testify against Chuck. Despite the pragmatic nature of any such marriage, Chuck manages to make his proposal sweet and romantic. The wedding will go ahead.

Back in New York, Serena is back to confront Dan about the alternate version of the Serena Chapter. Or the final chapter, as we find out later. She wants to know which Dan is the real Dan – the one who ripped her apart in the press or the one who’s been in love with her since he was 16.

With Bart dead, William is (predictably) moving in on Lily. He starts screening calls from Ivy early on, with a stunning sly side-eye to the camera that had me rewinding and freeze-framing over and over.

Chuck refuses to let Blair get married in a dingy courthouse, in last night’s clothes, so they orchestrate (the only scheme of the episode) a Central Park wedding with all of their nearest and dearest.

Before the ceremony, Dan overhears Blair telling Serena that she can do better than him, so he gives Nate his final chapter and tells him to run it in The Spectator. Nate swiftly dispatches Sage to put it online and the rest of the gang head to the (rather truncated) ceremony, fittingly taking place in the very spot where Blair and Serena renewed their friendship in Season 1.

And, despite what I was thinking a few weeks ago, the long wait has apparently done nothing to lessen the impact of a Chair wedding. I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face the whole time. I guess it was nice to see, after years of missed opportunities and misunderstandings, that Blair and Chuck could finally be together, just as we’ve all known they would be since before “Victor Victrola” in Season 1.

Just as the wedding (post “I Do”) is broken up by the cops (they get released super quickly), everyone gets the blast from The Spectator. We get a rather cute montage of previous characters expressing shock as they read the article – Lola, Vanessa, Juliette, Agnes, Rachel Bilson and Kristen Bell as Blair and Serena in Dan’s screenplay – before it’s revealed to us.

DAN HUMPHREY is Gossip Girl. What?! As the other characters piece things together, I was a bit embarrassed that I didn’t guess it either, but their general disbelief more than makes up for it.

Below, you’ll see Dan’s confession article – the final truth and the first piece of Dan’s writing I didn’t hate.

And then, for the final scenes, we jump forward five years. Nate has made The Spectator hugely successful and is considering a run for Mayor. Blair and Chuck have a son, Henry, who didn’t get the good looks of either of his parents, but who does have a rather snappy suit. Blair has a successful fashion empire, which Jenny Humphrey is a part of (J for Waldorf). Rufus is dating Lisa Loeb. Ivy wrote a book that has been turned into a play, or a movie or something, starring Lola Rhodes and Olivia (Hilary Duff). Lily is with William, and Georgina is with Jack Bass (best. couple. ever). And then we realize that everyone (oh yeah, Eric’s there too) is in one place because it’s Serena and Dan’s wedding day! Super low-key affair for a van der Woodsen event, but balance is restored when Serena wears a terrible, terrible dress.

And we’re left with the certain knowledge that, while our favorite Upper East Siders are growing up and moving on, Gossip Girl will never die – gossip is never dead.

So, like I said, the perfect ending. The only mistake that the Gossip Girl team made was showing flashbacks of Dan in his hot days. It just made the current Dan look that much worse. Will Lonely Boy now see the error of his ways and cut that hair? XOXO, Pond Hopping Girls (we can’t believe we’ve been letting that opportunity pass us by for the last 9 episodes…) – B+K

Quoteworthy: “The Upper East was like something from Fitzgerald or Thackeray – teenagers acting like adults, adults acting like teenager, guarding secrets, spreading gossip. All with the trappings of truly opulent wealth. And membership in this community was so elite you couldn’t even buy your way in. It was a birthright. A birthright I didn’t have and my greatest achievements would never earn me. All I had to compare to this world was what I had read in books. My dad gave me the idea. If I wasn’t born into this world, maybe I could right myself into it. I had overheard enough conversations to be able to mimic the language of the Constance girls, but every writer needs his muse and it wasn’t until the photo of Serena in the white dress that I realized I had something strong enough to actually create a legend and launch a website. Within weeks, I was getting dozens of emails with stories about Upper East Siders, so I posted them anonymously. And then I got more. Before long, it was a monster. Everyone was sending tips. And when Serena came back from boarding school I wrote the first post about me, Lonely Boy. The outsider, the underdog. I might have been a joke, but at least people were talking about me.” 

“The Revengers” – Gossip Girl

       Image copyright The CW (2012)

I didn’t think it was possible for Gossip Girl to get any more convoluted, but this penultimate episode is so packed to the rafters with import, so brimming with plot and intrigue in every scene, that I had nearly four full foolscap pages of notes before I made it halfway through. Kill me now. (Just one more episode to go. Just one more episode to go.)

And yet this was the first Gossip Girl episode I have enjoyed in a very long time. I’m not gonna lie – that’s mostly because of the profoundly epic and hilarious ending. Mostly it was epic because of the sheer scope of the hilarity, from the wonderful scoring to the terrible acting to the profound disbelief of it all (I find it hard to believe that a person would be running so fast that they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves from sailing over a three-foot wall, but would still manage some cat-like twisting in mid-air to grab on to a bar. It just seems unlikely). It was comedy noir, perhaps unintentionally so, at its very best. If the final episode doesn’t see someone waking up with a startled, “It was all a dream,” I’ll eat my very stylish new boots. (I won’t. I love them.) If you didn’t see the episode, go find those last five minutes. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

As for the rest of it, I’m going to give the most abridged version possible. Dan is apartment hunting. Later we find out he’s a creep and is moving into the Van Der Woodsen’s building. Creep. Chuck is despondent as, despite Lily’s help, he can’t get into Bart’s accounts to prove his oil dealings. Serena is moving to LA, but not until she helps Chuck and Blair with a scheme. They also call in Ivy, who is still dating William (surprising!). Bart realizes that Nate was playing him. Has him arrested. To drop the charges, all that Bart asks is that Chuck go to Moscow, alone, and never come back. Chuck says no until Bart threatens Lily and Blair, then he agrees to leave.

The episode sees Bart honored as Man of the Year (for something I can’t remember). The awards gala is to be the focal point of all the drama. Blair, with a posse of evil, conniving bitches, plans to psych him out so he lets something slip, on tape, about his dodgy dealings. Doesn’t work. While at the party, Blair sees a news reel which states that a Bass Industries plane, possibly the one Chuck was on, has gone down. Not wanting to keep the suspense going for long, the writers put us out of our ‘misery’ – Chuck is at the gala.

Dan is trying to win Serena back (because he’s an idiot). Meets her as she is leaving for LA. Sticks a copy of his loved-up version of the Serena chapter in her case. Creep.

And then comes the confrontation on the roof (which I’m still laughing about).

I wasn’t before, but now I’m looking forward to the finale. Here’s hoping it continues the hilarity that began in this episode! – K

Quoteworthy: “Naivety is adorable. Even if I didn’t have the police commissioner in my pocket, who do you think they’re going to believe? Huh? The Man of the Year or some sad, pathetic little boy?” – Bart, in all his mustachio-twirling glory.

“It’s Really Complicated” – Gossip Girl

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Oh god. I can’t even count the ways I don’t care about this show anymore. I don’t want to do another review where I complain about how much of a dick Dan is (he has a plan, apparently, but the only way that plan will ever succeed is if it’s to be a douche and have no friends). I don’t want to do another review where I talk about whether or not Chuck and Blair will get their shit together (at this stage there’s been too much will-they-won’t-they, it’s been dragged out too long, and if they get married now there will be absolutely no sense of satisfaction – at least not on my part). I don’t want to do another review where I try to deconstruct Blair and Chuck’s dastardly deeds and schemes, and condense them into a few lines (e.g. Blair and Chuck manage to convince Lily that Bart is evil). I don’t want to do another review where I talk about how evil Bart is (he’s now showing abusive tendencies toward Lily). I don’t want to do another review where I talk about how very meh Nate is (meh. Except for that punch.). I don’t want to do another review where I gush about how it’s all almost over and that I can’t wait for my brain to have to stop thinking so hard (“It’s Really Complicated”? Boy, is it.). So, instead, I will talk about the one thing I took away from this Thanksgiving episode:

Has anyone else noticed how much the CW has been pushing Windows 8 lately? – K

 

Quoteworthy: “Nate, I came up here to make out, not to watch you and Chuck play Wikileaks.” – Sage 

“Save the Last Chance” – Gossip Girl

       

I’ve heard people saying that this season has seen the writers of Gossip Girl just give up but, up until last night’s episode, I didn’t believe it. The writing was never exactly Emmy-worthy to begin with and the scripts were always more insane than inspired. But last night I saw it. There was one particular exchange – the first between William van der Woodsen and Ivy – that was so cringe-tacular I wanted to skip through it entirely. I’m still trying to wipe it from my mind, but I just can’t. It was the worst written dialogue I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve seen the Spice Girls Movie… Thank god this is the final season and there are only three episodes left. Not too much torture for my brain to cope with.

The rest of the episode focused on Chuck trying to take down Bart (he didn’t and, because of Ivy, Rufus and Lily, the evidence – and the means to bring down his father – is out of his reach forever), Blair’s new line (a raging success), Nate being blackmailed by Bart (hahaha) and Dan and Serena’s new old relationship (OMFGaw, Dan’s only sleeping with her so he can write the chapter on her? That vindictive little @!*#). Ivy’s been hooking up with Serena’s dad and she’s been acting out his plan. Now that it’s all fallen apart I bet he’s going to be suddenly far less interested in her. Chuck tells Blair they can’t be together because she’s achieved her goals and he’s failed at his. But I think we all know Blair Waldorf doesn’t give up that easily. Now that she and Serena are besties again she’s well equipped to win him over.

And I’m just gonna say it: fuck Dan Humphrey. – K

 

Quoteworthy: “I would never be that cruel to you… on purpose…” – Blair to Serena 

“Where The Vile Things Are” – Gossip Girl

       Image copyright The CW (2012)

Oh great! Serena and Dan are back together! It’s like we’ve gone full circle on this show. Next thing we know, Blair will be acting all virginal and will get back together with Nate.

We kid, obviously. But one has to question the writers’ purpose in bringing these two back together. They were a horrible couple, and I doubt there are too many crying out for the return of Derena. I can just imagine it now – “Hey! What happened to Dan and Serena? I miss those endless episodes where neither of them thought they were good enough for the other one and they were right because they were both terrible! Remember, though, how they were annoying as all hell but were both essentially nice people? Yeah, that sucked. When they get back together, can they both be assholes? Also I think it’d be fun if they realized they were meant to be together after they watched their old sex tape in public. That seems normal. Yeah, do that!”

Y’know, in all honesty, I used to like Serena. I have a friend (hi friend!) who has been railing against her since day one, but I never saw the problem. Boy, do I see it now. She’s self-centered, she rivals Blair for schemes but likes to pretend she’s above it all, she’s constantly looking for a new start but always comes back to the same old things, she’s vindictive, she’s snooty, she’s a bit of a snob. She’s just too much Lily’s daughter. But then maybe Dan deserves that. He’s an ass.

Other things that happened: Ivy and Rufus acted like children to get revenge on Lily for acting like a child. Nate and Chuck discovered that Bart had hidden the records of his oil dealings in a painting, à la Traffic (because that makes way more sense than anything else anyone could think of ever). Blair got scolded by Eleanor, demoted, then quit, then took it back. Now she’s planning a line of clothes aimed at 12 to 25s and inspired by her days at Constance. Now I don’t know about you, kids, but I really miss my Catholic School uniform. If I had the choice, I’d still wear it every day. I’d be wearing it right now if I could. (I’m lying.) Lily sold the envelope-containing painting to Ivy (not on purpose). Chuck bought it from Ivy. When he paid double what she paid, Ivy got suspicious and found the envelope. She called Lola and summoned her back to New York. Ooh, shit could get interesting. But it probably won’t. – K

 

Quoteworthy: “Careful, Lily. You paid a lot of money to fill those worry lines.” – Ivy 

“Monstrous Ball” – Gossip Girl

      Image copyright The CW (2012)

You know what I’ve never liked about Gossip Girl? And this is going to be strange, because it’s become kind of the root of the whole show… It’s the constant scheming. It’s not that I resent it or anything. It’s social commentary – the barbs behind the smiles. I get it. That’s fine. But there’s something about the way they’re written for the show that makes them incomprehensible. And, after watching an episode as twist and turn and scheme heavy as this one, and one that moves at such a breakneck speed, I’m invariably left with a splitting headache and a general fuzziness in the brain area. And I can’t help but think if they’d just stop scheming and would talk to their friends about their problems and concerns, like normal people do, they wouldn’t have half the problems. But, again, I know schemes are more or less the point of Gossip Girl. Without them, the show would flounder. So I’m content to keep watching until the finale. I may not understand the next few episodes, but I’m sure I’ll get there in the end.

It’s Cotillion season on the Upper East Side. Blair, on Dan’s advice, embraces her new reputation as a provocateur (her word). She offers to make Sage’s dress. Sage only consents to wear it if Blair stops Steven from proposing to Serena. (Engagement ring!) Blair agrees to delay the engagement so that it won’t steal the debs’ spotlight. We finally uncover Ivy and Lola’s plan – it’s to leave Lily friendless and alone. As such, Ivy offers to help Chuck take down Bart knowing it will split up Bart and Lily. Her plan doesn’t work, and only drives Lily and Bart closer together. Bart admits to Lily what he had done in Dubai. As long as no one got hurt, she says, she’s fine with it. Georgina and Dan are at Cotillion. Sage overhears Georgina threatening Dan with the release of his and Serena’s sex tape if he won’t release his Blair chapter. Steals Georgina’s phone. Releases the video herself. Blair slaps Dan, breaks up with Serena, and Serena gets dumped by Steven. Rufus finds out Ivy is rich, but still isn’t suspicious of her for dating him. Yes, Rufus, because plenty of hot, young women fall for impoverished, aging rock stars who weren’t that good to begin with. Blair’s design for Sage’s dress is selling, but Elinor is coming back to New York to deal with the “decorum” disaster. And, as we part from our Upper East Siders for the week, we see Dan and Serena bonding over mutual humiliation and burgers. Nooooooo! Though they’re probably destined to be together, they’re also both incredibly annoying and I’m not looking forward to a rekindling of that particular romance. Here’s to the impending insufferable love-making. – K

 

Quoteworthy: “You may be legal but this is way too highschool for me.” – Nate, dumping Sage

“Portrait of a Lady Alexander” – Gossip Girl

      Image copyright The CW (2012)

Okay I’m actually too lazy to write a proper review of this. There were twists, there were turns, there was the breaking of federal law. Borderline Oedipal revelations (Steven and Lily. Eww.) and sex tape disasters. Dan being an asshole AGAIN! Honestly, printing a Nate-related takedown in which you lead with the fact that he couldn’t afford to keep you at his paper? How self-important is that? Could he be more up himself? Really? Chuck and Blair discover that Bart was buying horses in Dubai to cover up the purchase of oil from embargo-covered Sudanese nationals. And that’s why he faked his death. Bart also co-signs on a line of credit for The Spectator without Nate’s knowledge. So that’s weird. But not as weird as Nate cooking the books. His father’s son, eh? Blair’s mother gives her one month to fix Waldorf Designs. Dan moves in with Blair, temporarily (that parting glance at episode’s end gave me pause, and a touch of the fears). And Rufus and Ivy are still giving me the wiggins. But I still can’t figure out her and Lola’s scheme! Unless they’re Gossip Girl now?

So just the right mix of drama, comedy and insanity, then, as per usual.

Special shout out to Chuck Bass, who was perfection in this episode. It’s almost like he completely stopped taking the show seriously. He mugged his way through most of his scenes, and the one in which he tells Lily about his plan to buy property outside of Manhattan was comic genius – though I’m not entirely sure that was intentional. Plus, that suit was fanTAStic! More of this Chuck please. – K

 

Quoteworthy: “I’m sure every single horse he bought from your family went straight to the glue factory.” – Blair to Sheikh Hassan’s daughter, about Bart

“Dirty Rotten Scandals” – Gossip Girl

     

Up until now I have been entirely ambivalent toward Dan Humphrey. I rooted for him briefly in the he-Blair-Chuck triangle (I recognize now that Blair and Chuck are meant to be and I was foolish for rooting against them) but, other than that, I’ve always felt just a little bit meh about him in general. Could take him or leave him. Until this episode. Now I actively despise him. Aside from the fact that he’s a complete jerk, and a back-stabber, and a terrible friend, and someone who made me side with Ivy (eww.), he’s a bad writer. A bad, bad writer. Terrible. And I can’t forgive that. As someone who hopes to make her living selling words, I resent someone who can find success with cheap and tawdry gossip-mongering (which is, unforgivably, not even well-written), because that’s all his ‘exposé’ of Rufus was  – it’s petty, it’s juvenile, and it reads like a diary entry. This kind of no-holds-barred exposé is only justified when the writer is witty and the writing clever, not when it’s some pseudo-teenager whining about daddy. [And yes, I freeze-framed the article. Don’t judge.] Down with Humphrey, I say.

Right. Rant over, I can talk about the rest of the episode. Blair is preparing her fashion show when yet another disaster strikes. Her lead It Girl drops out because of a scheduling conflict. Blair is left with few options and calls Serena for a favor. Serena, in all her holier-than-thou glory, refuses, leaving Blair to a panic attack and a collapse. A literal collapse that is. Which makes it all the more awkward when Sage (who’s a complete bitch, and manipulative to boot) backs Serena into a corner, leaving her no choice but to beg Blair for a position for Sage in the fashion show in order to save her relationship with Steven. ALEXA CHUNG guests as herself, and features in the fashion show scene. Or the disaster scene. Both descriptions are accurate.

Dan publishes his excerpt through The Spectator. It’s on Rufus and Ivy. Which is just weird because I thought the book was finished before he got back from Italy, so he must have psychically known about Rufus and Ivy before he even came home. Which is near miraculous. Anyway, it’s terrible but for some reason no one has realized he can’t write and he’s actually being lauded for it. Rufus and Ivy have a conversation about suing for libel and then she leaks that to Gossip Girl, prompting father/son chats. Which don’t go well. Because Dan’s an ass and Rufus just wants to talk to his son. Their fight pushes Rufus closer to Ivy, which is worrying because we still don’t know what her scheme is with Lola. But back to Dan. He pulls the ultimate douche move and, even though he knows Nate needs the book to succeed, moves the rest of it to Vanity Fair when they promise him more money. Ehh… friendship be damned, eh? And then he totally blows off Nelly Yuki for a hot redhead! Actually, no. I’ll give him that one. Dick move, but…hot redhead! What are ya gonna do, like?

Chuck has a strong lead on whatever his dad was doing in Dubai. Bart was meeting with someone called Lady Alexander. Chuck has somewhere to start now. He and Blair agree to team up to do what they need to do so that they can get it done quicker and be together sooner. And then they fall asleep being all cute and cuddly and Chuck’s being a total gentleman and aww :’) Chuck and Blair forever! – K

 

Quoteworthy: “My back is up against the wall, and not in a hot Chuck Bass kind of way.” – Blair

“High Infidelity” – ‘Gossip Girl’

      Image copyright The CW (2012)

Gossip Girl has been one of those shows where every season requires viewers to more and more suspend disbelief as its storylines vault to the improbable and downright silly, and yet endures simply because it remains compulsive viewing. This latest season, two episodes in by our watching, is no different.

The insanity is racing toward a peak with “High Infidelity”. We have sex and intrigue, mystery and anger, all with a healthy dose of Blair’s trademark neuroses. Not one aspect of the episode felt believable (with the exception of the central Serena/Steven/Nate/Sage storyline). Yet we can’t stop watching. Why? Because we have to know how it all ends. Will Dan finally belong? Will Serena get her happy ending, away from the dramz? Will Blair and Chuck get all the business out of the way and get their own happy ever after? Will TayMom make a reappearance, for old times’ sake? Will Rufus still be an old creep by the end of it all? So many unanswered questions. But what did happen this week?

As the episode opens we’re presented with our leads’ sleeping arrangements: Nate and Sage, Serena and Steven, Dan on Georgina’s couch (with her watching him sleep), Blair alone. And Chuck is clearly living up to his vampire reputation (we may have just made that reputation up), because he’s not sleeping at all. He’s still trying to figure out Bart’s secret. Brings Amira to brunch with the fam, she has an argument with Bart about their “weekend together”, which Lily overhears. She tells Chuck. Chuck tries to bully Amira into talking about it. Gets pulled away by a text from Blair, which Bart actually sent (can someone explain to us how that works?), and then, at episode’s end, gets a letter from Amira which contains a photo of a man she and Bart met with. A mysterious man. Ooh. Nate’s shtupping Sage but sees her being all huggy and kissy with Serena’s Steven so ends things. Serena’s none too happy either but is supposed to be hosting the Central Park Conservancy Gala so, on the advice of her mother, pretends she doesn’t know anything about it. We’d like to interject here that Lily is by far the worst role model in the world. THE WORST! To cut a long story short, Sage is Steven’s daughter. She’s 17. Nate and Serena are both dating wildly outside of appropriate age pools. In other news, Dan’s manuscript is rejected by his publishers and he’s dropped by his agent. He and Georgina try to shop the book out to magazines as a serial. They all want editorial control on it, and propose cuts. Nate offers to print it verbatim because he needs a coup for The Spectator now that he cut loose his Gossip Girl story. Blair is preparing to launch her first line for Eleanor Waldorf. Thanks to Blair’s own insecurities – as well as the reappearance of old faves Nelly Yuki and Poppy Lifton – the whole thing is a disaster and, with ten days before display, she’s starting over. Final scene: Sage (who suddenly and remarkably de-aged about 20 years since the night before) vowing to cut Serena out of her dad’s life. Wow. Guess Constance’s hasn’t gotten any less vicious in the last four years. The outfits are cuter though. – B+K

Quoteworthy: “Why is the handsome, vacant one calling me?” – Georgina, on Nate

 

Smorgasbord Review #1 ~ October 7th – 11th

     

Okay. We’re terrible. We said it was one of those weeks, but we may have been understating the situation a little. We were both completely out of action for the whole thing. So what we’re doing to make up for it is one long post that encompasses all the shows that we missed. You’ll get a paragraph worth of review/recap and a quote for each show. That is all. Unless it was a particularly exciting episode. Then you might get two paragraphs. And, just to be up front, we wouldn’t be expecting a whole load of posts this week either. There may just have to be another Smorgasbord Review (or two) that we’ll post over the coming weeks. We’re sorry. We can do better and we must do better and we will do better, and we will start this moment, today. (West Wing, bitchezzzz.)

So here we go:

Treme, “Me Donkey Want Water” This wasn’t quite as monumental as the previous week’s episode. Stuff happened, yeah, but nothing too huge. It was an episode of decisions and deals. Nelson and Robinette are playing NOAH straight and providing full remediation. Toni is chasing a cop – Wilson – who she thinks shot the Abreu kid. She goes after him hard, placing an ad in the paper asking anyone who has been abused by Officer Wilson to get in contact with her. Janette is down home looking at the restaurant space. She loves it, decides to go for it, leaves New York, asks Jacques to come work for her. Antoine puts Delmond in touch with LaDonna regarding the use of Gigi’s for Guardians practice. Delmond seems thrown by her but it’s clear already that it’s a great partnership in the making. Davis decides to make a tribute CD, the proceeds of which will go, in their entirety, to old jazz musicians who were cheated out of royalties. Terry may have solved the Cardella murder from “Saints”. He’s thinking of putting his papers in. Sofia’s trying to hook him up with her mom.  LP Everett is still pursuing the King case. Albert Lambreaux has non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. Sonny and his girlfriend finally have sex. Antoine is a man whore. — K

Quoteworthy: “That’s the crime problem, right there.” – onlooker, about Officer Wilson

Once Upon a Time, “We Are Both” OUaT was hilarious this week. I’m just not quite sure it was meant to be. In the present: we found out that the citizens of Storybrooke are just as trapped as they always were – part of the curse involved a barrier spell on the outskirts. Anyone who crosses the line forgets who they really are. Again. Regina’s powers are still on the fritz. Until they’re not. August is still a block of wood, but appears to be starting to wake up. Charming is being a shit prince because he’s avoiding everyone and focusing on Emma and Snow. Until he’s not. He’s on a quest for another spelled tree. August is the only one who knows where it is, but no one knows where August is. Regina gets her mother’s book of spells from Gold and has magic. She takes Henry. Lets him go when she realizes she doesn’t want to turn into her mother. Everyone is scared of Regina. They try to leave Storybrooke. Charming gives the worst rousing speech of all time. Somehow it works. Everything is wonderful. People open their stores again. As consumerism thrives, joy is found. They are their old selves and their new selves. Gold is sad about the barrier spell because now he can’t leave to find Baelfire. August disappears. In the past, in the Enchanted Forest: Continue reading