“Misery Loves Company” – 90210

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I got really excited toward the start of this episode. Dixon was still being an ass but, in doing so, he demanded that Adrianna play a song called Scarlet Adrianna at his record label launch party. A new song! I hardly know what to do with myself… a new song! We never get to hear it – we’re never even sure that it’s played at all – but the mere thought of it is enough to carry me through another episode filled with baby drama. Though it was actually a pretty good episode, by 90210 standards. The baby drama was merely the least exciting or interesting aspect of a great effort from the CW standard.

First, I’ll address baby-gate. As it’s the most irritating storyline in years, I want to get it out of the way quickly. Unfortunately for my sanity, it’s not a storyline that’s going to die any time soon – the closing moments of “Misery Loves Company” ensure its longevity. This episode sees Silver continue to battle for her right to be a single mother. She calls in the help of Teddy’s uncle, predictably making things ten times worse. Teddy vows to never let Silver use his sperm, and ends their friendship. Not that she’ll let that stop her.

As Silver forges Teddy’s signature on the release documents, we’re reminded of something Dixon said early on in the episode: “If you don’t have this child, are you sure it’s a bad thing? I’m just saying, I don’t think you’re ready to be a mother right now.” Seeing her poor judgment and her juvenility in action, I have to agree. How can she hope to be a good mother to a child when she’s still acting like a child herself?

You may argue that she’s just determined to have a baby and shouldn’t have to co-parent with Teddy if she doesn’t want to, and I agree, but there are other methods besides stealing Teddy’s sperm (using someone else’s sperm, having sex with Liam, adoption). I do feel like, even beyond the thievery that will undoubtedly come back to bite her in the ass, this drama is far from over. I can’t help but envisage a storyline in which she gets implanted, then has sex and gets pregnant, and doesn’t know whether it’s Teddy’s or her sexual partner’s until the birth (it would be the sexual partner’s, thereby absolving her of thievery guilt).

Dixon and Adrianna continue to clash and Dixon potentially loses Megan because of it. Megan thinks he’s not over Adrianna, which we would have agreed with right up until the final moments, when he tells Ade that he doesn’t want to hate her anymore, because he doesn’t want to feel anything for her at all. As Adrianna watches him slip further and further away, I can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. As the most unlikable character, she always elicits feelings of Schadenfreude in me. And, for showing up to the record launch party with a Taylor lookalike, she deserved exactly what she got – Dixon’s cold shoulder. He may have been an ass, but she brought it on herself.

The Naomi and Max storyline may have just about reached a conclusion. Naomi and Adrianna embark on a road trip, hoping to get their man-problems out of their heads. Naomi loses her wedding ring and thinks it’s the biggest disaster of the century. Despite numerous assertions from various people that the ring doesn’t make the marriage, she begins to feel as though it’s just one more sign that her relationship with Max is doomed. In a surprise move, she goes to see her mother for advice. Her mother gives her a family-heirloom engagement ring and tells her that she needs to decide if her marriage with Max is one she should be fighting for. I’ve never liked Max and Naomi together, so I’m sort of hoping the answer is no. But I loved these scenes – I’ve always loved when Naomi shows real, bare, honest emotion. It’s such a contrast from her usual ‘everything is wonderful’ act that it’s all the more effective.

Now to the storyline that we were most interested in, and the one that kept me dying for 90210 to return from winter hiatus – Liam. And, thankfully, the writers didn’t drag it out. Within one episode, they rescued Liam and dispatched Ashley. This whole story strand was a relatively surprising aspect of “Misery Loves Company”, seeing Annie team up with Vanessa to track down Liam and, eventually, seeing Vanessa make a huge sacrifice to save his life. It also brought us from one major cliffhanger to another. As Liam helps Vanessa escape from the Offshore before the cops arrive, Ashley pulls a gun on them. Annie wrestles her for it and, in the struggle, the gun goes off. As the episode closes, and the cops take Ashley and (presumably) Vanessa away, we’re left with a shot of Annie bleeding out on the floor of the bar, cradled by Liam.

Much and all as I want Liam to father Silver’s child, I want him and Annie back together even more. They were always my favorite couple – will this be just what they need to reunite them? I don’t know. But I can’t wait for the next episode so I can find out. – K

Quoteworthy: “Didn’t that priest you ruined teach you it’s not polite to swear?” – Vanessa

PS Rita Ora guests and, for some strange reason, performs at Dixon’s (a rival) record label launch.

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